To My Fellow Airline Travelers........

• You know that last flight you took? You remember that person immediately behind you or immediately in front of you? That was me. I paid a lot for that flight and you, fellow traveler, made my trip so much more uncomfortable and aggravating than necessary. Now come on, you KNOW how to be nice, and thoughtful, and considerate, and courteous, right? Right!
  
  So here are a few not-so-gentle reminders for next time.
  
  
  1. If you have a boarding pass with a seat assignment, it isn’t necessary to check in with the boarding desk at the gate. It is especially not necessary to do it twice.
  
  2. If you have a boarding pass with a seat assignment, WAIT until your Group Number is called to try and push your way into the plane. Pushing and shoving really isn’t necessary. You have your seat and it will be there when you get on. If someone else is in the seat, the airline attendant will straighten it out and, you just never know, they might just upgrade you to First Class if the airline made a mistake.
  
  3. Listen to the restrictions regarding carry-on luggage carefully. Generally for domestic travel you are limited to one carry-on bag and a small personal item per person. The carry-on bag should be placed an overhead bin close to your seat (not up front over someone else’s seat, therefore depriving them of that space). If people pay attention to # 1 and #2, this shouldn’t be a problem. Carry on luggage with wheels should be placed in wheels first (front to back) if possible. It makes for more room for others. The small personal item should be placed under the seat in front of you. If you are in a bulk head seat (a wall in front of you – not another row of seats) you must place all of your items in the over-head compartment during taxi, take-off, and landing. Don't argue with the attendent, they aren't her/his rules, he/she just has to enforce them.
  
  4. When the Seat Belt Sign is illuminated, make sure you are in your seat. Stay in your seat, don’t get up. Buckle your seat belt and stay in your seat. Make sure your children stay in their seats as well. Failure to adhere to the seat belt sign is not only dangerous to the person roaming about but to other passengers as well. A flying body impacting a stationary one could cause severe damage to both people. Stay in your seat!
  
  5. Turn off your cell phone when the attendant requests it. Turn them off. The rules apply to you too, really they do. Yes, you! You do know that others can see you checking for those text messages. Turn the darned thing off!
  
  6. When reclining your seat please check behind you as you do so gently and slowly. Knees and other body parts belongs to another human being depend upon your understanding and kindness…remember, the person in front of you may only be as kind as you are to they guy behind.
  
  7. When you need to get up out of your seat, please be aware that the handhold you use to pull yourself out of your seat is actually the back of the seat in front of you. That reclining seat can be pulled down and jarred significantly when sufficient weight is placed on it. Remember the guy behind you may treat you only as well as you treat the person in front of you. Be considerate and understanding. Karma, you know.
  
  8. See numbers 6 and 7 regarding the following: placing large items in the magazine flap in front of you; placing feet on the back of the seat in front of you; allowing children to kick and pummel the seat in front of you; allowing children to bounce and rock in their seat; allowing children to hang over the back of their seat…..hey…you do know that there is someone behind and in front you, right?
  
  9. If you are in an aisle where another person is in the center seat, be kind and considerate; let them use at least one of the armrests! Window and aisle seats don’t automatically get use of two armrests a piece! It is hard enough to sit like a mummy in a center seat without the ability to rest at least one arm!
  
  10. Listening to your i-pod or other type mp3 player at excessive volume can permanently damage your ears. Safeguard your hearing and that of the passengers in nearby seats by maintaining a reasonable sound level. If we want to listen to hip-hop or acid rock we can choose those pieces for our own enjoyment.
  
  11. Try, really try, not to get up and do your travel exercises or head for the lavatory when the beverage cart is in service. You’ll get trapped on the wrong side of your seat for sure and the cart will have to bump into elbows and knees, yet again, in order to let you by. Besides, the cart inevitably will not return to the row where it left off and those aisles just won’t get beverage service.
  
  12. Upon landing, keep your seat belt fastened and stay in your seat until the pilot turns off the seat belt sign. You are trapped in the plane until it is at the gate and the door is open, you aren’t going anywhere. Stay in your seat, with seatbelt fastened. Do NOT get up and start opening the storage bins.
  
  13. When it is time to de-plane, do so from the front and in row order unless requested to do otherwise by the flight crew. Waiting for the others in front of you is only courteous and reasonable. Everyone wants off that plane; lots of other people have connecting flights, why do you think that you are more important than the other passengers? Do you think you paid extra for the privilege of knocking other people out of the way?
  
  14. Walk through the plane and up the jet way. Please don’t stop right in the middle of the pathway to check a bag, or make a call, or ??????? If you must do these things, step out of the way, against a wall or somewhere similar. You stopping in the middle of deplaning passengers creates the same result as a rush-hour rear-end collision.
  
  15. Check that baggage! Make sure that the bag you take is yours, check the luggage tag. Lots of bags look alike and the person whose bag you take may not be capable of chasing you out to the taxi stand. Really.